Corona Virus is a great time to reflect on what you have been attracted to in your life and what you gave permission to stay in your life.
Look at all areas of your life including relationships both romantic and platonic, health, work and personal life. Is each area the way you want it to be or have you given up on yourself, your goals, your hobbies, your lifestyle or your needs? Are you choosing healthy or unhealthy needs and relationships?
Do they bring out the best in you or do you find yourself reacting in workplaces, getting triggered in relationships, getting caught up in your own insecurities/fears – because that’s a programme running in the background and each relationship whether romantic or platonic will trigger it until you address it.
How? by facing your fears – comfort that little child in you (the inner child) that’s been frightened, traumatised, hurt in the past, disappointed, feeling uncertain or unsafe.
People who feel unworthy – will push people away and want them back, which can leave the other person feeling drained and confused (also known as the push/pull technique) because they believe or feel undeserving of love, commitment, peace, joy etc
Some people have experienced physical or mental abuse usually in childhood, they can self-sabotage relationships in their adult life to protect themselves and this behaviour may play over and over in each relationship until the old emotional pain is faced with love and acceptance
People who Fear failure – either fight to survive or are afraid of feeling fear, therefore they may give up easily in relationships, tasks, friendships or give everything to try to fix the relationship before becoming depleted and harbour resentment .
Your emotions can be your best friend as they indicate how you are feeling, if you learn to listen what is driving you behind the surface, this gives you a chance to change the behaviours. Unfortunately most people are afraid to feel due to past experiences or traumas and continue to get hurt by repeating the same lessons over and over.
Transforming Your Energy From Destructive to Constructive
Transforming your old destructive patterns to empowering yourself is by:
- Taking full responsibility for your actions
- Having the ability to respond rather than react
- Listen to your needs and others
- Learning to say no/create healthy boundaries
- Focus on the desirable end result/outcome
- Stop the unhealthy habits that no longer serve you
- Speak honestly about your feelings
Happiness is definitely an inside job, you don’t have to wait until tomorrow for change, you can decide right now in this moment, to Move out of your limitations, your “what ifs” and insecurities by observing your behaviours.
When I first learnt Mindfulness and went on Mindful walks I knew it was helping, it was slowing down my relentless activity of needless thoughts, I began to experience space between thoughts and knew that this space was always there I was just unable to see or feel it due to past conditioning. I noticed my speech slowing down the more I meditated, there was no need to experience life at my fast pace or interrupt people when they spoke (fear of loosing my train of thought). I could observe my thinking and become consciously aware of what I wanted to accept as truth and what I wanted to disregard. I began noticing my breath rather than taking it for granted. Trees were my new fascination, how they allowed each storm and still stood even after the damage. I realised, I too had gone through my own storms in life, which were very challenging at the time but here I stood with a whole new perspective.
After qualifying in my therapies and learning different coping mechanisms I no longer saw myself as damaged, I saw how far I had come, what I had achieved and how I could help others. My perspective had completely changed.
You see we all live in our own little worlds, we all see life through our own lens and no one else experiences life the way you do.
So it makes sense, if we get caught up in our stories, fears, distractions and we make them bigger than they are, because it is all we see.
Sometimes we just need a fresh perspective, people who can help us achieve our desired outcomes, show us our blind spots and guide us on our way until we feel comfortable to walk on our own - empowered with the right tools.
